The Healing States of Mind

I have some reservations about calling these “states of mind” because that can reinforce the false notion that these illnesses and pains are “in your head,” which simply isn’t true. However, because of the way the nervous system works, by changing the way we consciously respond to the world — by changing our states of mind — we can retrain our nervous system’s unconscious, automatic responses. Moreover, these states of mind are critical to adopt in order for the techniques to work effectively. The techniques and states of mind work together in a cycle of perpetual reinforcement. That said, do not stress out if it takes a while for these new states of mind to become your regular response to life. It takes work, time, and brain retraining to adopt new mind sets.

The states of mind listed here are based on research, my personal experiences, and talking with others who have also recovered or are on the path to recovery.

You can’t address something if you aren’t aware of it. So much pain and illness stems from us blocking out and hiding from what we really feel. In order to heal, you’ll need to practice pausing and taking time to go into your body to figure out what you’re feeling and experiencing at a deeper level. Only then can you start to shift how your body responds to everyday issues.

As you become aware of what’s happening inside of you, the next step is to simply accept it as it is. The feelings and sensations and pain may not be what you want to be experiencing, but the more you resist them, the more you send the message to your nervous system that something is wrong. When your nervous system gets the message that something is wrong, then it goes into a fight-flight-freeze-fawn state to try to keep you safe. It’s important to remember that acceptance and change can go hand-in-hand — in this case, acceptance is the opposite of judgement, and judgement that something is wrong is what triggers your nervous system into an over-activated state.

This is one of the most important states of mind to adopt in order to practice acceptance and eliminate judgement. Curiosity allows you to acknowledge something as it is and then wonder why it’s that way, rather than insisting it shouldn’t be that way. It allows you to be with something going on inside of you in a way that is slightly detached and less overwhelming. This is about responding to the world in a way that doesn’t trigger your nervous system. When you say, “huh, it’s interesting that my body is doing this. I wonder why,” you begin to open lines of communication deeper into your body to understand why you’re experiencing these symptoms. At that point, you can begin to address the root causes of your issues.

Being kind to yourself calms your nervous system. So many of us with these chronic conditions feel shame, self-judgement, and self-hatred, all of which activates the fight-flight-freeze-fawn response. Yet just as we feel better when we’re in the presence of someone kind who loves us unconditionally, our nervous systems can also relax when we’re kind to ourselves and love ourselves unconditionally.

Belief is not about having faith that things will magically work out. Instead, it’s a key component of shifting the automatic responses of your nervous system. Your brain and nervous system respond to your beliefs. If you believe you can’t safely leave your bed, that idea gets reinforced in your brain and nervous system, and it becomes harder and harder for you to leave your bed. However, if you believe you can heal — and if you specifically believe that your nervous system can rewire itself for health — that idea gets reinforced in your body and can begin to become a reality. Listening to podcasts, reading books and articles, and watching videos about people who have recovered and about the new science coming out that backs up these methods — these are all great ways to reinforce these ideas within your nervous system.